FOR LOVE AND GOLD
Come on, come on.
- Come here... l'll catch you. - Mercy, mercy, no!
- You asshole, idiot. - Grab him, make him in pieces.
Slaughter them, slaughter them all.
No, no, please. No, no, no.
- Badsmell? - Shut up.
- Let me go, let me go. - Hold on.
That's it.
I'm leavin'.
Help...
Let me go, let me go.
Get down.
- Let's play roll. - No.
- A kid? - Go away.
Hey, you asshole, what are you doing?
- Come on, hurry up. - Come on, come on.
They are coming!
Quick!
You asshole!
- Get out of here. - Get lost, get lost.
No, no, I beg your kindness. Mercy, mercy, no.
Run away!
This staff is mine.
Get out.
Give me that, it's mine.
Your dirty thief! It's mine.
- Drop it. - No.
Grab him, come on.
Let him go.
- Hey, you, trader! - Hold on, old man.
- Abacuc. - Somebody helps me, help.
I'm going to hide myself. They are thieves.
They are going to take all! I've got to hire myself.
- Open up, Abacuc. - Open up!
- We got something to sell to you. - Open up or else we'll burn you.
- Get it up. - No, let's throw him into the river.
- Let's go. - Hey, you, get it up.
- Where are you taking me to? - Open up or we're gonna drown you.
Gush, this is damn heavy!
Open it, open it.
- Ah! He's finally decided! - What's going on, what's this about?
- What do you want? - I'll show what's good for you.
- What a staff, ah? - Look at this sward, the steel's great.
- Let me get out of here first. - Good stuff, the best.
Get out, come on.
Look at this armor, Abacuc.
The armor of a great warrior.
- First I take it, then I pay it. - Look at this.
What a thing! Everything's spoiled.
- It's the best! How come it's spoiled? - Who's gonna buy this staff?
- It's a big deal. - It's a bad deal.
See, I'm gonna tell you, I'm short on money, so I pay a little.
The cheaper old man.
What's this?
- What's written there? - You nuts, do you know who did you...
- Stole these weapons and clothes from? - No.
- Arnolf Iron-Hand. - Who is he?
Prince's Otoni Fighter vassal, a great Lord of Saxon...
damn it, I wish I've never seen you before.
I've killed him.
- Have you? - Yes, he's dead.
- Are you sure? - Of course.
Well, so, we'll have a good deal, I'm gonna read it to you, right?
Hold on...
We concede to the owner of this parchment the possession of the...
Aurocastro Fortress in Pulha, and the vineyards, the cattle, and...
all the riches in there. The Feudal Gentleman has to make a sacred vow...
to rule the city through wisdom vanishing with the terrible...
danger that comes from the seas, with the winds of springs...
when... when... when... hold on.
But, what danger?
A piece is missing. But this can worth it about a hundred grand...
- How? - Selling it.
- Selling it? - For a Gentleman. He, with this...
parchment, goes to the Fortress and will take it for real.
Let's go find a Lord, and let's not sell the parchment.
We're gonna take possession of the land. He'll be the head and we, the soldiers.
Before he'll swear that he'll divide everything with us.
- That's it. - Sure, that's it!
So, he needs to be a haughty Gentleman, good looking, but hungry for...
goods and for lands, yes, Gentleman out of money...
- And in rags like ourselves. - Definitely.
- I know one like that. - Really?
Let's go to Civita, there'll be a tournament for all the Knights there.
Wait a minute!
His tent.
Aquilante?
Aquilante, you asshole.
Come here, I'm gonna give you some sugar, come here.
There you are, your stupid horse.
Now, I'll catch you.
Damn it!
Come here, you damn thing!
Come, come here, sweety.
Come here, you stupid thing, I'll give you a reward.
- Here's your bar of sugar. - That's what you got?
Gentleman, we've a good bargain for you.
We, ah... Otoni, known as The Fighter, for God's will...
Prince of the Holy Roman Empire, Lord of Saxon...
Duke of Battenburg and of Poemwritten, concedes to the owner...
of this parchment... the possession of this City and of the Fortress...
of Aurocastro in Pulha, with the vineyards, the cattle...
and all the riches in there. The Feudal Gentleman has to make a sublime vow...
to rule the city through wisdom and eliminating, etc... etc.
We received this parchment from a great and noble Gentleman...
that gave it to us when he was dying.
Now, we offer you, brave and spotless Gentleman...
And broke.
...the luck of been the owner of a wealthy land, and of the Fortress of...
Aurocastro. In change, you'll make a sublime swear of dividing...
all the riches and all the goods, with all of us.
- Do you know who I am? - No!
I supposed you've heard the name Spanker Le Fugitive.
I've never heard it before.
Spanker Le Fugitive. The biggest captain of Tussia.
And I'm the one who at a stroke of axe have cut him in two.
My name, pay attention, my name is Brancaleone, da Norcia.
Enrich, the landlord of this land, offers to the winner of this...
tournament the title of Captain of...
the Weapons and offers his daughter Lucrecia to marry with him, too.
Consider that Brancaleone da Norcia, has already on his hands the title...
and the wealthy marriage.
So, get out of here, you insignificant. You and your miserable feudal of Pulha.
The vineyards, cattle and the sea full of fishes to be divided in a half.
Besides, put this into your mind, old man. Brancaleone da Norcia...
has never shared anything with anybody. Go ahead, go ahead.
Come on, stupid thing.
Take part in this tournament the Knights: Wizard Peacock...
cadet of Gun, Herald of the Deaf, Badcome Villain of...
Sulmona, Sir of Corkscrew, Rich, commonly known as Less Hand...
Brancaleone da Norcia.
The first contest is with Bigshout, commonly known as Dirty-Hand...
versus Brancaleone da Norcia.
Present yourselves with your helms and shield of combat.
What are you doing? What are you doing? Go ahead.
- It's that way! - Stop it. Stop it.
Come back, don't run away. Gush! Your traitor.
- Coward. - It's not my fault, it's this asshole.
- Stop it. Go ahead. - Big runner.
Coward, don't flee, stop and fight.
And why don't you reach me? Reach me and I'll show you...
- Damned. - Go slowly...
Turn on, horse.
What side is that Feudal?
The man at my service is not afraid neither of the rain nor of the sun...
- The fire or the wind. - What service? We are all equal.
Silence here. I'm the commander.
So, you own me obedience and submission. Our route will be...
covered by sweat, tears and blood. Are you ready for that?
- Everybody at the same time. - Yes.
- We are. - Are you ready to...
fight to death? We'll set off for days, weeks and months, but...
at the end, we'll have castles, treasures and white women...
with big teats. Bigstick, stand up the flags.
- I have no flags. - All right, stand them up very high.
And you villain, put yourselves under your shade...
get out of the mud, I'll turn the five of you a speed army and...
- Sir, we are in four. - I'll turn the four of you a...
speed army, brave that's gonna be a greyhound and a lion at the same time.
Let's go ahead, on the way to Aurocastro just in the heart of Pulha.
Let's go. Go ahead my hero fellows. On the road. Go, go.
Follow me.
Where is he going to?
It's over here.
Get out of my way.
You get out.
No, you must to get out. I'm a Knight.
What about me? You've seen my army. Don't you have eyes?
- As much as you have a tongue. - So, what is missing is your brain.
Yes, maybe, but guts I have a lot. On foot or by horse?
No, not by horse, on foot.
My name is Brancaleone da Norcia.
I'm Teofiltall Gain Gold.
From the family Bysantine descendent of Giveaphoto l, and seen you...
I have pity on you.
Bigstick.
Show him who we are, sir.
My Lord!
- Break. - Do you want a break?
- What about you? - Ah!
Yes, a break.
- Axe. - What?
I said, axe.
An axe!
Squire, an axe.
Is this gonna last forever?
- Look out! - Let's get out of here.
- Well... That's it. - That's it.
- A break? - Ok.
It was the only one. It's history!
Now, let's get the sword.
On guard!
Go... go away.
Let's make the fire 'cause the whole thing is gonna last a lot.
- Is it ready? - A little more.
Hey.
Do you surrender?
Ouch!
- It's the spleen... yes. - No...
No...
It's the liver...
in there.
- Yes? - Yes.
It always hurts me.
Boil some alfalfa...
chicory...
brimstone, mallow, citron-tree, and boil them all...
and... drink it all.
- Is it a good medicine? - Yeah!
It's gonna be inside you giving kicks till everything is clean, then...
gets out from your ass a big fire.
It burns, but it cures.
Hey, you there? Night's coming!
That's the Hebrew Abacuc, he is in charge of the treasures of the army...
and he is a great trader, he is at my service.
Salute.
I have an idea. Though you sound pompous, all of you seem to be...
in rags. My family is very rich...
and would pay a lot for my life.
So, I thought, if I offered myself as a prisoner and go to my...
father's Castle to demand a ransom in gold, that is gonna be half and half.
- And then, each one for himself, right? - And where is this Castle?
Very far, there. No, there, where the sun's down.
- But, don't we have to go to Aurocastro? - No way, Aurocastro can wait...
for a while we're going to get our gold, hurry up, let's go.
Hurry up? Who are you? Capricious of Verdict.
- Where did my horse go to? - We'll go to where I tell you to...
We'll leave and we'll take possession of our feudal, according to the...
parchment. All of you need to act with dignity...
obedience, decency and submission...
but where is the look of the man who keeps the weapons? Out with all...
this trash, out with the hanging rags...
and with all these old staffs and with the tents.
Discipline! We're the Army of Brancaleone, blood of Judas.
Blood of Judas.
Wait, wait for me. My horse ran away.
- Wait, I'll go with you. - What for?
I'm your prisoner, I've got to follow you.
Listen, you're free, just take another way and don't disturb us anymore.
Attention, let's go straight ahead.
The stubborn Bizantine continues following us.
Don't mind about him. Look, a village.
- What village is that? - For sure it's, San Simonne or...
Bonharollo...
or Ancopontanatico or...
another place that I've never been to.
- We'll stay here for tonight. - As you want.
Quick, this way.
Quiet! This silence doesn't make me feel good. Gush!
Let's go very carefully.
Abacuc. Cover my back.
- What do you expect? - Let's go.
Let's go together.
What a tomb silence!
What a gloomy!
Hold on!
Did they run away from us?
All the villagers escape when they see armed soldiers.
Well, that's it. By the right of the winner, take everything...
you can, hurry up to get to Aurocastro well dressed, go!
- Go. - Count on me, let's go.
- Everybody to the cellar. - We're gonna to devastate this village.
My army will leave its terrible signal. Dura lex, thirsty lex.
- Cucurucu. - Cucurucu.
Let's enjoy the life, to sin, what's the death?
What's left for you from the life?
Give it a bite.
Let me kiss you.
No! No! Where are you going?
Surrender to me, take me. Surrender to me. Cucurucu, cucurucu.
Cucurucu.
Surrender, take me. Let's enjoy and sin.
Cucurucu.
Your skin is on fire.
Fever for love! For you, I can dye.
- No, not that bed. - Why not?
- How you said: Cucurucu. - My husband died in it.
- Died? When? - Yesterday.
- Yesterday? Of what? - The ill that reached everyone.
The pest.
Let's get out of here.
Let's run.
Help. The pest.
- The pest! It's here. - Let's leave this place. Come on.
- Run, let's run. - We're lost, lost.
Come on, let's follow Aquilante, he's an expert in running away.
- Come on, come on, let's go. - Don't spoil the cloth.
- It'll be our last suit! - Don't doubt it.
Hurry up. Come on, let's go.
Damned village. Let's go.
- Come on. - Not so fast.
- What a foolish thing we've done. - Run, old man.
- Get some wings, old man. - The chest is gonna break.
Don't worry about that, old man.
You're gonna spoil it. Oh! M treasure!
Hold on. Hold on, brothers. Abacuc, Decorum...
Hold on... it doesn't help to run, the death, death's already in all of us.
You damned, I wish I've never seen you all.
My fault...
My fault, my entire fault.
My fault. My fault.
- Are you happy now? - My entire fault.
My fault...
Hey...
It's true. You didn't get into the village.
- You didn't want me to. - You knew about the pest.
- And didn't say a word about it. - Stay there.
- Be aware or I'll make a hole on you. - Bizantine worm.
- We contracted the pest, and you laugh. - Yeah.
- I'm gonna infect you. - No, no, no.
- Don't do that to me, please! - Don't let him go. Catch him.
Hold him, let's transmit the ill to him.
Touch him, touch him.
No! Stop it, Christian.
You don't want to suffer the same way we are...
How you can see, we were infected by the pest.
- Pest? - Pest.
Pest? What a sin!
Fortunate men, I bring you the salvation...
Join us and save your lives. Follow me and the terrible harm...
won't get you. Take your weapons and come with me to the Holy...
Land to get the Holy Tomb free...
I promise you that you'll have your body and soul saved. Who purifies the...
impure will be pure. Who goes with me to the Holy Land will be cured.
Come on, soldiers of faith, form with me a happy squad.
Everybody to the Holy, Holy Tomb. God wants this way.
From every harm will be cured who goes with me to the Holy Land.
- I go. - Before let's ask for a guarantee in...
- A paper that there is cure for all. - What do you say, son of Judas?
- What about Aurocastro? - We'll never get there.
What do you prefer, brothers, right death by pest, or what the monk...
promised us? It will be the salvation of the life in the Holy Land. Let's go.
Let's go, brothers.
Courage, come on.
To the Holy Lands.
Come you too, Aquilante.
- Why are you here? - I've got the gout and sand on my teeth.
The good monk guaranteed me health, then we're going to Taranto where...
there's an army and many boats, we're going to the Holy Land to fight...
- Against the Africans with the hands. - That's it...
we'll fight one a one against the black people in the Holy Land, and what...
about you, my friend, what do you have? What battle did you lose the arm?
- In Barcelonta? Or against the Swedish? - In his house, he found me...
with his woman, and just because of it he cut my arm.
- Ah! - After that, we've become...
friends, we've packed and... both of us have left...
with the monk Zoneone to the Holy Lands.
- I see. - And I carry on this huge stone...
- For a bigger punishment. - All right, let's all go fight...
everybody to the Holy Lands. What about you, my good man, why are you with us?
- He is leprous. - It's disgusting.
Hold on! Make lines.
One after the other. Cross on Indian line.
- Monk Zoneone, it doesn't seem safety! - Men of a little faith...
How can you be afraid of the bridge, if the hand of God is holding it?
Remember Thomas, the incredulous apostle.
Let's remember him and cross it. Come on, you cowards.
You, Abacuc, who weights a few pounds, will be the first one to cross it.
- Go, go, go. - Trust.
- Go on Indian line. - Go, come on.
The hands of God hold you. Go through and remember Thomas...
Don't you remember Thomas, yeah?
Follow me, come on.
- Don't be afraid. - Put your faith on the bridge.
- I'm here with you. - Go ahead, come on.
Let's sing! The way is so big as much as...
- The goal. - Big.
Men of a little faith.
Come on, Decorum.
Cross it.
Come on, don't doubt it, it will bring you happiness.
God took His hand away.
But why did he take His hand away?
Do you know?
- No, Priest. We don't know. - 'Cause among us there're some impure...
Someone here has no faith... Who has no faith?
- No, everybody has faith. - Almost everybody.
That one, that one.
- What? Who are you talking about? - I have my faith.
- Of course, he has. - He has his own faith.
- We are all friends. - Right, we are all friends.
- Horror! By the way, are you an heretic? - No! I'm a Jewish.
There was a serpent among us!
That's the reason of our disgrace. Let's baptize him.
Let's baptize him, an impure. It'll be pure who purifies an impure.
Let's go to the waters, to the waters, of the salvation! Let's go to the bath.
- For the purification. - Calm down, Abacuc.
- Come on, Abacuc, come on. - Take it easy.
Today is Saint Monsueto's day, and your name will be Monsueto.
Get up warriors pilgrims, why to sleep when it's time...
to thank the Lord? Stand up...
Let's thank the Lord.
And now, another bridge!
thank to the Lord, that makes the way to salvation, full of...
obstacles.
Let's cross on Indian file.
Follow me.
But, how can you fight in the Holy Lands...
if you don't have the faith to cross a bridge?
What are you afraid of? Now, we're pure. There's no dangerous...
- Because the heretic was purified. - So, he goes first.
Cowards! Cowards, cowards.
Sing and cross, I'll give you and example, the bridge is firm. Look!
Look!
God punishes. That's the way God wants. Look! That's the proof.
Where are you going, Priest?
- What a flight, ah? - Yeah, rest in peace.
- And, what to do now? - Well, let's go back.
- But, what about the pest? - We're pure. The monk said it.
- He vanished. - Who gave, gave. Who had, had.
did you forget the vows? We'll go back to the Holy Land. That's what God wants.
Peace, peace!
He is right, that's it. We're free of the vow.
And if from each fact we should extract the meaning...
here it is. I doesn't want, God doesn't want. Am I clear?
- No, wants. - No, He doesn't want.
Let's go back to our route, come on, straight ahead to Auro...
don't mention the place. Or else they are not going anywhere.
You are right, yeah. Well, fellows... come on, come on. On the road, let's go.
- Let's go. Let's go. - Liberated.
Come on. Each one for himself.
- Where are you going to? - No where, exactly.
- Let's go together. - No where, exactly, but...
to the other side.
Soldiers, come here, hurry up.
Jesus Christ!
Help me.
Let me go. Help me.
- Follow me, my warriors. - My Holy Mother, helps me.
- Hold on. - Help.
Hold on!
Help!
Look, when I say, follow me, my warriors...
what you have to do is follow me and fight.
Or else, we are gonna have bad moments.
Thank you, my hero. Thank you.
- My name is Matelda. - Yeah?
I own you my life.
My tutor.
My tutor!
What a cruel!
- Are you a Gentleman? - Of course I am.
This is my pupil Matelda, she is gonna marry a noble...
the Duke Guccione of Nuts-Frog, if you are a Knight of Sword...
you must know the code of honor...
I left my little girl for you to take care, be her father and her mother...
her baby-sitter and her sister, her shield and her support...
take care of her life, and at most take care of her pureness. Make a swear.
The ward, give me your ward.
He is feeling bad, isn't he?
I swear.
- Aren't we going to Aurocastro anymore? - Calm down...
- It's the same way. - No, it's 4 days more on the road.
Take the girl to his future husband.
- I'll give you a good reward. - How much? How much?
A hundred coins of gold.
- What about 150? - Abacuc, before the death?
All right. And where is our gold?
- In a secret place. - There's a secret place.
- And where, where, where is the place? - Get my beard up.
Come on, get it up, get it up.
- Oh! Tutor, Tutor. No! - Ouch, damned, ouch, ouch.
Carefully, it's dangerous. Carefully.
There is no rush, go down slowly.
Come on quick.
Ah? Did it arrive, ha?
- Yeah. It arrived. - But it's all wet.
Get it up!
- There we go. - Whose turn is it?
The girl's turn.
I'm scared. Come with me.
Get it up.
Come on.
Hold on.
- Going down. - Slowly.
Go it down. Slowly. Slowly.
Close to you I feel safety.
I wonder if it will be this way with my future husband?
Ah? What do you think?
This... this guy Guccione, how is he, ah? Is he...
is he blond? Or brunette?
- Or what? - I don't know him.
The husband who I've dreamed about has to be...
tall, strong, a good looking, like you.
What's the matter with you, Gentleman? I can feel your heart beating a lot.
- Stop it. - The rope twisted, make something.
What can I do?
- Don't be afraid. - No, I'm not afraid.
Hold on. I take care of it.
Courage, you can jump.
The little safe.
My father, the Baron of Norcia, died when I was nine years old.
My mother got married so, married to a perverse man...
who, eager for my treasures, gave me to his foreman...
that new how to use a knife very well, to kill me.
But he didn't do it, he had pity on me and abandoned me in the forest...
where I could survive myself.
And where I grew up free and strong like a jaguar.
When I was 20 years old I went to the castle to claim for what was mine...
however, my mother and my step-father were dead...
after exterminate with all the goods.
And when I said, I'm Brancaleone, the unique legitimate heir...
of everything that they left to me, the Policy Captain shouted: Yeah? So...
you'll pay the debts. Catch him.
Then, I took the sward, I hurt two of the officers and I had to run.
Since then, I'm walking around fighting.
Cover yourself. What are you doing?
- Crooked ones, what are you looking at? - Why? Can't we look?
- No. - I look.
- No, don't look, no. - Ah! Let's look, yeah.
Because of the young lady we are not going to...
Aurocastro, at least she can amuse us.
- Besides, get out of my sight. - You Pilatos of Bysantium how dare you?
- Go back to the lines. - They are claiming because...
you're getting far away from Aurocasto to take me to Nuts-Frog.
They are soldiers, they claim, but accept my hard discipline.
- But they are full of right. - What did you say?
You must get back to your way.
What about you?
I'm gonna with you.
Scratch my back.
If you want me, I'll go.
We'll have great kids for the new lineage of the Brancaleones.
I'll be your faithful wife and you, a husband deep in love because...
I know that you love me as I love you.
I'll give you my pureness. I will.
Matelda! Matelda! I beg you, don't tempt me, I gave my ward.
Don't take me to Guccione, I don't want him. I want you.
Me, your little sheep, take me, Leone.
- No, no. - Nobody will have me, then.
Catch the girl.
Matelda?
Matelda, wait. Matelda.
Stop, Aquilante. It's an order.
Stop, it's an order. Aquilante, stop, stop.
- Why don't you get some sleep? - I'm not sleepy.
- Tomorrow you are not gonna sleep. - Why not?
You'll be given to Guccione tomorrow. The Brights make the night a day.
Go away.
Wait.
- I didn't want Guccione. - Ah?
And didn't he want you?
That damned asshole.
And he sword to keep you pure.
But I want to change this.
Tonight.
Matelda! Matel... but...
Weren't you in a hurry to take me to Guccione?
Well, I'm ready.
You sleep too much, come on, hurry up.
Move, you lazy horse, we got just one minute.
Look, over there.
- Cheers to the fiancée. - Cheers.
- But, why are we stopped in here?
We've to go right to the point.
Ah! Guccione invited us to the wedding.
- I couldn't say no. - Get my advice.
We'll go tomorrow.
Eat something to get your strength back.
Guccione is an obscene man. And he'll be the first guy to catch...
- That flower. - He can be not the first one.
- What did you say? - No... it's that if you had caught...
the flower when she offered you...
Maybe you are right, but what could I do?
We could get the road, pick up our things and leave.
Ah! But, why the rush? Have a drink.
We're gonna leave, my sweet wife.
- Take my advice, let's go now. - It wouldn't be correct.
- Isn't it time to stop drinking? - I want to drink to forget.
So, let me drink, too.
Do you want a fruit?
Hey? I'm talking to you.
What's the matter with you? Did you get nuts?
They went to the nuptial room, the party is over, let's go.
It's over? It's not over, it has just started.
The harm caused by love, it's just cured by another one.
Sweety, what do you want to do now? You want me to make love with you, ah?
You want to eat me. Right?
Bigstick, throw me another fruit. A very ripe one.
Are you ready?
Look, I'm gonna eat you.
It's good! But not in front of everybody. Let's go upstairs...
there is a room there just for us.
- Let's go. - Not yet. The whole thing's starting.
Hold on everyone.
What is going on?
Tell me who did it?
- Who did what? - Abused of her.
I want to know who did it.
- He. - No! I swear to God.
Matelda! Matelda. How could you say such a perverse thing...
when you felt on your own flesh how is to keep a word?
- Catch him. - Come on, my hero fellows...
Branca, Branca, Branca.
Damned!
It's a painting.
Go back, you damned. Or else, I'll put fire on you.
Army, over here.
Oh! Look out, I'm here.
Oh! Mercy, don't hurt me!
Brancaleone, over here!
Come on, my soldiers. Branca, Branca.
Ah! Help! Help!
Don't hurt me.
Let me go.
And what about our coins of gold that are with you?
Get out of here. The money was given for what...
you haven't done. So, we've confiscated them all. And you are...
lucky not to be killed. Get out, or else you'll turn like your...
commander. As an example for all, he'll stay in a cage...
for days, weeks, months, till he's devoured by crows and falcons.
Get out of here, and don't come back.
Hey, commander, we are here. Come on.
Very good. You're loyal. It's a merit.
- Do you know anything about Matelda? - No. I hope she's dead.
- Take me out of here, come on. - Let's see what we can do...
Stay there, for a while.
Go... come on, old man, help. Come on.
Hey! Gush, how you weight, you damned Christian.
No... don't put your hand. It's gonna fall down, take your hands off!
- It's gonna fall down. - It was stimulating.
Damned shot. Open up. Come on.
- They can bite. - Sure. Let's go to the trench.
- Let's cross the trench. - Come on, come on. Go, go, go.
- Is it bottom? - No, it's shallow, you can...
- Cross it. - I trust in you.
Where is the forger?
- Why do you want a forger? - To open a cage.
A job? He is on the bridge, but go fast.
- One, one and a half, two, two and a... - Hold on, hold on, Forger.
- What are you doing? - Leave me alone.
- Hold him. - What are you doing?
- I caught him. - That's ok. I'll hold him.
I wanna die.
- She's cheating on me. - Hold him, don't let him go.
I wanna die.
- A little more. - My wife ran away...
with a soldier.
She's cheating on me. I want to kill myself.
We made it.
- Are you thinking of her? - Who else could it be?
- Take it, it's soft. - Ah! Ah! Be aware.
Why did she do that? It wasn't me that have abused of her.
You couldn't do that, when the woman offers herself, it's dangerous to say no.
- She gets a revenge. - I couldn't have her...
she was pure like a pigeon!
Of course she said yes to the to the tricks of a villain.
If I put my hands on him, I swear to God.
He only did what you must have done, if you were an expert about woman.
I gave my ward to keep her pure.
Brancaleone da Norcia will never injure a virgin.
- Virgin, she?! Maybe a piranha. - How dare you?
Worm Bizantine. Liar. Dirty snake. Cynical detractor.
I'm gonna spank you. I'm gonna catch you. Wait till I catch you, ouch, ouch.
I'll catch you.
Oh, shit, not again.
This is the cage, open it up, fast 'cause we have to leave.
Hold this.
I hope we go, without stopping, to Aurocastro.
I can't wait to get there, to lay on a very soft place.
Do you think we'll have servants to do the things for us there?
Servants? Servants and more servants.
What are we waiting for, let's get to the Fortress, I'm an old man...
and I'm always in pain.
I need to get some good sleep, good food, a good drink and stay...
- Doing nothing. - Yeah.
- Where are you going to? - To the land of pleasure.
We're happy soldiers of the noble Gentleman. Glorious Commander...
- And a fabulous hero. Come with us, too. - When does he arrive, when?
- Who? - The noble Gentleman.
The commander, the fabulous hero?
It's he.
What are you doing?
- Come back, where are you going? - To the river, to the river.
- Don't do that. - He's leaving.
Asshole.
Ask me to apology you, you son of a piranha.
You are mad at me, you're suffering because of the barefaced Matelda.
A thousand times cursed. Matelda was the last ward that you...
spelled in your life.
Take that one.
I'll kill you.
What's this about? For Matelda? Are they combating for her?
Hey?
- You don't need to kill each other. - What do you mean?
- I saw Matelda today. She was crying. - Where did you see her?
In a car escorted by soldiers of the Duke Guccione. She was going to a...
- Convent for the rest of her life. - Aquilante.
To the convent...
Fast like a ray.
Damned stirrup!
- A foreigner is coming. - Who let him get in?
Matelda?
Where are you? Where are you?
Matelda.
Matelda? I'm here.
I'm here, and so kind that I say to you...
come with me. I don't want to know who was the villain that abused of you.
Come with me, let's start our lives again.
We'll have great kids, everything as you wanted.
- No. - I didn't understand the meaning...
- Of the last ward. - Too late.
I have now a very different husband.
What are you talking about?
I know I was very bad with you.
And I'm here to atone for what I did. But now, I only can love Him...
- Forgive me, good-bye. - Matelda?
Matelda, come with me, or else I...
Will kill me? You can do that, my mission will finish earlier.
Cut my head off.
Hey?
Are you feeling something, milord?
Your Lord, my dear, suffered a hard stroke.
He found his great love on the dangerous way of weapons.
He had to resign to keep his ward.
You know my dear, what happened then? The pain...
that my heart had to hold up.
Now your commander, says to his doctrine, do you know what's in this...
world the reward for the human sacrifice? A kick in the ass.
From now on I'll be called The Bitter Gentleman.
Or something like that.
You too?!
- Where are you going? - This way.
- No, this way. - Why that way?
- The wind comes from here. - What does that mean?
- Nothing. - Do you know where we are?
Beyond the jungle is my castle. And I offer you again...
I pretend I'm your prisoner and ask to my father the ransom in gold.
That's it, so, we can buy clothes, weapons and some horses.
- Let's go scoria. - That's okay...
then. Down there, there is current water, we're gonna get to the...
Bizantine castle tidied as this army has to be.
To the bath dirty worriers.
You, and specially you, to the bath.
Ah! I knew it.
- What a freak people. Who are they? - The last dukes of Bysantium...
precious blood and very sick. Hectic limbs, weak using the sward...
but fast using the dagger. People that you better lose than found.
- What about that empty place? - It's my father's.
- Time for his prayer, let's wait. - Do you know what I'm gonna do?
Ask to your father a thousand of coins of gold. Thinking again, two thousand.
- Who's that pale but appetizing lady? - My sister.
No, not that one, the other one, that looks like a piranha.
My mother.
What do you say about aunt Teodora? She killed her husband with a poisoned...
- Dagger sending him directly to hell. - Jesus Christ.
To please her lover.
Which one?
That one with the bowl.
- His name is Type. - My goodness!
You have to drink it, hot wine with spices.
Aren't you afraid of the pain? I liked you.
You're welcome.
I'll cure your hand.
She...
- Go! She's a great lover. - What about type? Doesn't he mind?
Yes, he does.
- But, do you care? - Of course not.
- So? - I'm in charge of the negotiations.
But with respect, don't be too fast.
I'm going to take a big cash from them.
I'm Brancaleone da Norcia.
Do you know to make love the same way you know how to suffer the pain?
Yeah, but actually a long time I...
Pleasure and pain...
are the same.
I don't know, maybe.
- Do you want to make it? - Of course I want!
- Take off your clothes. - Right now.
Come on, damned buckle. It's gonna be this way. Let's make it.
Let's make it, let's make it.
- Make it, make it. - What's that, woman? Are you crazy?
- Ouch, stop it, stop it. - Take it, spank me, too.
- Ouch, I'm gonna take it, I go. Wait. - Take it, go ahead.
- That's what you want? Right. - That's it, spank me again.
You bizantine. Take it! Do you like it? So, take it.
No, not on me! No!
- I love you. - I love you.
Stop it!
Sancirilo Abacuc, master of finances of Lord Brancaleone...
that made your son his prisoner, after a combat, and the old people...
say great value, great price. And the value of your son is great.
But, considering your tender heart of a father, we'll ask you a lower value.
- Three thousand. - Three thousand what?
- Coins of gold, no? - No.
No? Are you letting your son as a prisoner...
Submissive to hard works?
And abandoned, doesn't your heart gets hurt as a father?
- We'll do it for two... - No.
You can take him, and you can spank him as you want...
- I'm gonna like it. - It went wrong.
He's the shame of the family, the white sheep, a thief and a tramp...
He is the bastard son I had with a servant of mine against my will.
Neither a coin of gold, nor a tin, he doesn't worth it.
That's right, but he is your son. One thousand and everybody is happy.
You're the trashy accomplices of Scant? If the bell rings for the third time...
and you aren't out of here you'll be be killed by poisoned arrows.
Poisoned arrows. Look at them.
You bastard, I wish I've never seen you before.
Wait. Abacuc, how much did you get? Where are you going, ah?
Why are you running? What's going on?
Take your weapons. Betrayal, let's run away.
I cover the back. Come on, hurry up. Come on.
Let's go, quickly.
- You should tell us you were a bastard. - Neither I knew it.
- So, you're my relative. - And mine, too.
Hold on. I see signal of smoke. Watch out.
These lands are unknown and wild. Two brave men are going...
to open the way. You stay here. You go.
- A bear. - Ah?
Did he make a fire?
It's not a daddy bear, by the head and by the ears it looks like a mummy bear.
And a bear does that?
- Look. - That guy is Decorum.
Let's go over there.
What?
- Ah! What do you want? - We thought you had died...
- Are you with the bear? - Come on.
Go, go.
- Did you see her? - Of course.
- Does she bite? - No, she is gentle.
She found me in pieces, and took care of me and...
took me to the cave like she was my Godmother.
But I don't claim, one day I eat chestnut, the other day, chicory...
or else a frog and I'm still alive.
So, let's go, good luck.
No, wait, I'm going with you.
But, let's go slowly.
If she notice she's gonna eat us.
- She's like an animal. Come on. - But...
Decorum, she is looking for you.
Go... go.
Run.
She is there.
- She is mad. - Run away.
Be a good girl, I'm going with my friends. I'll come back soon.
Help me! Wait for me. Help.
Hold on. We'd better stay here.
Be careful.
Yeah, old man, you found a good excuse for not walk.
I'm very sick. Little Christians, I'm really bad.
No, what bad? You're just a little ill.
Soon you'll get strong again, listen to the old Branca.
My time is over, I know it.
I already don't have the pain on my foot.
- I'm tired. - Abacuc...
But if it's what you say, I think you're gonna be okay.
I don't know if you die, you'll go to our Christian paradise.
Or of your people, or of the God you've had before.
For sure, I believe that it'll be better than the life...
- We are having here. - I think so, too.
You are not going to be cold, neither hot.
Neither hungry, nor thirsty.
- Neither spanks. - Nor scares.
You'll have a heaven always beautiful. Birds and flowered trees.
Angels that will give you big breads, cheeses, wine and milk.
And they'll say: do you want, old man? Eat. Do you want more? Take it. Eat...
drink till you get satisfied.
Sleep, sleep.
Sleep.
Lucky old man!
Hold on.
Look, men, look.
That is Aurocastro!
Look it now, men of a little faith.
It's a sound!
The sound of the ring of Zoneone, you abandoned too early the happiness.
The monk's back.
Who are you talking about? Who's this monk?
Get on your knees.
- It's a cow! - A cow! A cow.
A cow! God doesn't want you to suffer anymore. Branca, Branca.
Citizens of Aurocastro, open up the gates for your Lord...
that came by imperial will to guide you, to protect you and...
to administrate you, open it up for Brancaleone...
da Norcia and Aurocastro and for his army.
I'm Quarentino, an ancient of this village, this is the key of the city.
Follow me to the Fortress and I'll show you what belongs to you. Come on.
- One moment, the lmperial possession. - You don't need to. You'll read it later.
Your coming make us happy. It's the end of the time of favors.
And they are not a few. Come on, we can't waist the time.
Here it's the cellar. We've left a little wine in there.
We'll drink.
We are all happy, with your presence.
Now that you are here, show us that you are brave men. Are you seen something?
A black flag.
It's the damned ones, they are back. Like every year...
for a new pillage. Give them a lesson so, they are never coming...
back here to rob anymore.
Thank you, Gentleman, and to you and to the Great Lord of Saxon...
that nominated you, go fighting our defenders, attack with violence...
those sanguinary. Fight and God be with you. With all of you.
But... what sanguinary?
The Saracen!
It's explained now what is written in that parchment...
"The black danger that comes from the sea".
It's the Saracen pirates that come every year from the sea to...
- Sack. - It had to end up this way, I was an...
- Idiot to follow you. - Old Branca, we got screw.
Friends, brothers, soldiers, there's only one thing to do: To run away!
What are you saying, Mangotree?
We have only one thing to do: to fight!
This is our Fortress, they are people that are trusting on us and...
put their hopes on us.
We deserve the title we came here to have.
Bigstick, I nominated you, "Primus Milis."
The squad of yours, will have Captain Teofiltall, and...
and below Mangotree, "Millis Simplicius".
Vito, I want to give you a proof of my esteem. With a good news...
I nominated you, Master of Weapons.
We have to be firm till night to discourage the...
enemy and encourage the peasants to come back, to fight and to win.
The Saracen are coming. Run away!
- They are going to put the gate down. - It's a little rotten.
Don't be afraid, men.
I have a plan that will exterminate the enemy.
Let's see.
Take off the board that cover the cellar.
Aquilante, where are you? Where are you? I have a job for you.
Get these ropes, hooks and pulleys prepared. Aquilante, come here.
Take it easy. The gate can take the first strokes. Calm down.
Calm down.
Hey, you. What are you seen?
- They are starting it over. - Ah! That's what I need.
Prepare a great quantity of rocks.
It will have their function when the moment comes.
And now listen to me. The Saracen'll throw themselves with a big arch, right?
He's going to resist. But the gate's going to open like the arms of...
a lover, and the Saracen, pushed by their own...
- Strength, will fall into the trench. - Do you think that the horse is gonna...
pull the rope that opens the gate to your command?
Bigstick, get your sling ready.
The useless horse hit by the projectile of our slinger...
is gonna move, for sure.
Master Vito, be alert. Listen, are you seen the gate?
- It's only what I can see. - That's enough.
When you see they opening the gate and falling into the trench...
to close the trench...
you cut the rope with your vigorous sward.
Take it, did you hear me?
I heard you very well.
Decorum, you'll put fire to the ray and you'll throw it into the trench...
to burn the infidels. Teofiltall and Mangotree get prepared...
stretch the arrow. The plan was elaborated very carefully. Now...
I'm going to tell you how to move precisely and in order.
Go, Bigstick.
Keep on alert, my hero.
Till now, you are covered by shit, cover yourself with glory now.
- Commander? - What happened?
- It wasn't my fault. - Decorum, Mangotree...
- What happened? What's going on? - Help me.
- Give me the hand. - Put all your strength, that's it.
- Damned asshole. - What a hell darkness is that?
Open up. We are going to close the lines again. Open up.
Vito, the heavens are gonna curse you. Open up.
I barely know them!
My beautiful river, my pretty anvil.
- Damned parchment. - And damned Moorish that came...
- From the sea. - No more crying.
You always lived like women, try at least to die...
like men.
You call this die like a man?
- Did you see, Teofiltall? Look! - Who are they?
Christians soldiers.
- They arrived on time. - Come on, my rescuers.
- Cheers for the Christendom! - They came to save us.
Attack.
Carefully, carefully, brothers.
Don't cut the rope.
We thank our Holy Mother.
God bless you, Gentleman, thank you very much.
- You saved us, God bless. - I'm your slave.
Glorious Gentleman, without you, I won't be here now to thank you...
and shaking your hands and all your men.
Brancaleone da Norcia.
Master and owner of Aurocastro. Their vineyards and their cattle.
I ask your permission, my dear Lord, to have you here as hosts...
to eat and to drink in my castle.
What?
Nice end.
It's not the end you should claim, but the beginning.
I was deceived by that parchment.
It's true. It's our fault, if we're here now...
forgive us, Brancaleone.
Is it use now to demand? We need to love and to forgive at death's time.
We need to love and to forgive.
Listen, Brancaleone, I wasn't a good guy for you too...
- And I want to confess my faults. - You don't need to, brother.
We arrived at this point, no way out. We need to love and to forgive...
at death's time.
We need to love and to forgive.
I ask for your forgiveness.
It was me that abused of Matelda.
You disgraceful traitor. You dirty man.
You crappy bizantine. I'm going to exterminate you...
I'm going to exterminate you, damned.
- The bells of Zoneone. - It's a cow, a cow.
Shut up.
- It's him! - It's Zoneone. Zoneone.
- Brother. - Who's that?
- Zoneone. - Zoneone, Zoneone!
Hold on, I don't know who you're and why you want to burn the men.
- That's it, monk. - But their lives belong to me...
- We belong to you. - Listen to me, Saint Man...
- They are traitors and deserve to die. - Yes, they do...
As all of us. But their lives are not yours...
but of the Lord that is in heaven, and He said that...
it'll be pure who'd purify the impure.
- I want to be pure. - All of them swore to go with me...
to the Holy Land, to fight against the infidel, and nobody can...
take any man from the lines that wants to die happy for the Saint Sepulcher.
Keep on your knees, Christians.
- On your knees. - Obey, obey.
- That's the way God wants. - Obey.
Aquilante?
Ah! I never doubted you.
Come on, my faithful animal.
Give me the sward.
Well, my brave men, leave all the discouragement behind you...
chest out...
stand up the weapons, flags up, self confidence...
and let's forget Aurocastro, across the sea blood and glory...
are waiting for us, like the wolf that attacks and the lion that goes ahead...
we keep walking till the Holy Land. Branca, Branca, Branca.